Wii hee

Like most other nerdly dads I wanted to get a wii for myself almost as much for my kid, but I wasn't going to pay an extra few hundred bucks on ebay. It was retail or notail.

Saturday at our company holiday party, I somehow entered into a "buying a wii" conversation with somebody at our table and she mentioned that the local Target was getting in something like 126 wiis in the morning. The checkout person offered up this information without her ever asking.

I had spent the last month scouring every store in the Lehigh Valley and had sisters in 2 other states looking for wiis. Of course, nothing. In fact, I haven't seen a wii on the shelf since it came out last year. The local Toys R Us recommended I show up every Sunday morning @ 5 for a chance to get one. Didn't sound promising.

So, Saturday night I set my alarm for 4:30 in the AM. I awoke to the sound of ice pelting my windows at 2:00 AM. I stayed up and argued with myself over the merits of going back to bed vs. standing outside in horrible weather with the possibility of coming home empty.

I skulked around until about 5 and finally made up my mind to gear up and giving it a shot. Who else would be crazy enough to stand outside until 8am for a stupid wii.

My car was encased in ice. The ground crunched beneath my feet (when I wasn't slipping around). I scraped until I thought I had worn through the windshield. The blasting heater in the car sounded like a jet engine test.

A few times I almost turned back, but the information sounded too credible and the lure of a wii (which I have never played, BTW) was too strong.

I didn't have breakfast or anything to drink. I figured that when I pulled into the parking lot and it was empty I would head up to McD's and grab a sandwich or 2 and then make my way back to the store.

Needless to say, I didn't see another soul on the road (which raised my hopes for there being nobody in line) and I kept thinking if I rolled off into a ditch and died that I deserved it. I've never skipped work because of bad weather, but I know I would have been miserable traveling to work in this condition rather than highly excited.

I round the corner of the Target and all I can see are cars in the parking lot. It was now about 5:55 am and I see the line of people wrap around the corner. I never parked and exited my vehicle as quickly as I did at that moment.

As it turns out, I was lucky that I was "around the corner" because the wind/snow/sleet was brutal in the main section of the line by the door and where I wound up wasn't too bad. Cold, but not devastating.

I remember when the Cabbage Patch craze of the 80s made mothers fist fight in the isles and I thought that the people that lined up for stuff were insane. Standing outside in a snow storm at 6 am on a Sunday I think proved me right.

The great thing was that everyone in line was super-nice and we were never at a loss for conversation. Mom's in line for their kids. A couple in line for their son. A wife in line for her husband. Dads in line for their kids (**cough**cough**).

Rumors were flying that there were 120+ but that the employees received first dibs and that there would only be 90 for sale. I hadn't counted the line in front of me but my guess was that I was fine either way. Then, somebody mentioned that these may just be the line holders that we saw and there might be more in the cars that were waiting for the store to open.

Despair loomed around that corner. My mental picture at this point had me getting up to the counter and they just handed the last wii to the person in front of me.

Well, come 7 am the manager of the store comes out and starts handing out vouchers for each wii they received. As he handed me my slip of paper I found out that I was 54th in line and there weren't legions of other crazy parents in the cars waiting for this moment. It looked like was getting my wii.

We were instructed to go back to our cars and begin lining up again at around 10 of 8. I held that little slip of paper like it was made of the most precious material in the universe. I dared not stick it in my wallet or pocket. I held it.

As I sat in my car I kept staring at the Target entrance waiting for the others to start milling around which of course started promptly at 7:40. My mental picture was now that they wouldn't go in order by number and I somehow got shafted because all the later liners jumped ahead. I was now farther ahead than I was when I first got in line. I was getting a wii.

Up until the moment they opened the doors and led us like cattle through the DVD and Book sections, I was still running mental scenarios where I was going home without a wii. To Target's credit, everything went without a hitch. They even had every register manned and ready to go.

My last mental gasp happened when I was just about to be handed a wii and the lady halted the line. They were handing out 7-10 at a time so that they could grab accessories and games and not get too bunched up. I stood there for what seemed an eternity staring at the pallet of wiis wondering what catastrophe was about to descend upon me that would prevent me from walking out of there with my prize.

And then, very anticlimactically, I was handed a wii and sort of pushed on my way and I sort of stumbled into the guy handing out extra wiimotes and nunchuks. I didn't even look at the receipt. They could have charged me $10,000 and I wouldn't have noticed.

I was thinking about stopping for breakfast, but I had to use the facilities and besides, I still felt like I wasn't going to walk into my house with a wii. I wanted to get home and then go from there.

They are out there if you can get lucky. Just bring gloves and some warm coffee!

278

Down another 2 pounds since the last post. I was almost in a panic this morning looking for pants when I realized I have 4 pairs of Dockers in the closet that I haven't been able to fit into for a few years.

Shaking my head, I turned off the closet light and almost went downstairs to search in the wash basket when I turned myself around and stared into the now dark closet. The light spilling in from the bedroom illuminated a few of my wife's dresses that were closest to the entrance and they seemed to act as the angels (complete with flaming swords) that were tasked with guarding Eden.

I knew that if I went in there and tried on the pants and they were still too tight I would be bummed and have to go downstairs anyways and still look for the big boy pants. It was only 2 weeks and I couldn't have shrunk that much.

Well, I flicked on the light and stood in front of the 4 pairs of Dockers that haven't seen action in quite some time. They had been in there so long undisturbed that the little bit of fabric at the top of the fold was covered in a slight layer of dust (who dusts their clothes?) that I didn't bother to brush off because I knew they wouldn't fit.

Once they were in my hands I wanted this over quickly so as I was slipping my one leg into place I jumped in the air and came down with the other in its place and pulled up in one frantic motion.

Wow. They were officially on my body and the resistance wasn't too great. All fine and good, but now I have to button them and that's where the problem will- Hey, the button closed and I'm not sucking in my gut and they are a slight bit loose.

And so, I'm wearing them right now. My wardrobe just increased by 4 pairs of pants.

A little w00t!